Grief Journal

March 8 My Birthday wake 700 Yoga 8:15 Sunny clear, cold, frost on windshield 10:30 unload car put the folding screen in the basement - try not to think about this Make a plan to paint a mural - invite friends to join. Take shower leave Suzanne a list about my birthday - I couldn't answer her last night 11:15 Decide to write this blog 11:45 She's still sleeping Chest tight, shoulders heavy, sad, detached, lonely Still playing I dreamed a dream in my head. Ready to leave house

Couldn't sleep woke at 4:45 Espresso Internet 9:00 Went to Bootcamp at Gym 11:30 Stopped and paid Lonnie for monthly window washing. Tipped him extra $10 for his birthday asked him to pray for me 12:00 Meet Laura in my studio to talk about St Teresa's mural 1:00 Shower food couch slept 6PM Suzanne and Kate home Grief, exhaustion 7PM move to bed Suzanne alarmed, tries to get me to eat No memories Sleep

3/6/2020 Weather: cold raining 9:30 AM  Gym Kick heavy bag with right foot - pain Workout as regular with Jesse, Fred, and Rob no memories Arrive BAC  1:20- no memory of drive Gathered things to take home 2:00 Meeting with Wendy I turned in keys and badge rapid heart rate ears ringing didn't cry dry mouth events fuzzy afterward Drew N. arrived as I was loading my last panel of folding screen into my car we spoke for 1-hour anger, sadness, don't remember what we said Said goodby to Ray S He was concerned kept me from leaving made me explain. Said don't make any choices out of woundedness 4:50 Finished loading Drove to Glencairn Met with Brian H He spoke, I cried, he said I'm doing the right thing offered to visit me said call Stopped for coffee, grapes cheese nuts at Wawa ate in car Drove home: rain traffic Stopped again for food drove in silence, listened to audiobook drove in silence no memory